Worship Connects Us

"RISE UP BELOVED AND COME AWAY"

I know it has been a while since I have shared through this venue but today I had too much to share to speak to you through group text message, Facebook, Instagram or Twitter! Here we go....  :D

God has been calling us to Him through our circumstances though we recognize Him not.  Are you confused and frustrated about what has been going on in your life?  Can't hear God's direction for your life?  Maybe He has been speaking clearly but we sometimes refuse to believe/trust the doors He opens and closes.  

It is time to "leave and cleave."  Each of us must seek God for what that means for us individually. "God is a Spirit and we must Worship Him in Spirit and Truth."  

We have become professional Praisers - thanking God for what He has done for us. What happens when we no longer sense Him "doing" anything?  Does it become harder to talk to God....spend time with Him? Has our relationship with God become like our relationship with people (carnal)....if you can't give me what I need, right now, I can't find time for you? As long as we continue in a "hand-out" state with God....,always seeking His performance and not his presence, we will remain dependent...weak...helpless....stuck.

Our relationship with God (process of getting to know Him) starts with our ability to easily recognize Him doing things for us/through us.  

At a certain point we must move from "what have you done for me lately, God?," into relationship with God (Worship) - be able to thank Him/spend time with Him because of WHO HE IS. Once we are in relationship, we love/adore Him even if He is not giving us what we want.  We love and seek His presence because where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty, joy (strength), peace...

If you have been in a season of defeat/weakness/frustration/confusion/sadness/loneliness, it is time to move into relationship and all the benefits that comes with Who you know, not What you know. Start to reflect on Who God Is. If it is a struggle for you to do that, remember that He is never too high that we can't reach Him....He is a "practical" God....a God of "truth"  Start approaching your spiritual relationship like your fleshly relationships.  Be intentional, set aside regular time just for Him....schedule brunch, a date night....Happy Hour, 15 minute breaks, slumber parties, day parties, March madness...whatever it takes to get to know Him/recognize His ways not just His acts.  

Relationship of any kind requires TRUST and trust develops over time and experience.  A worshiper grows to understanding that through experience with God, sometimes His acts may not "feel or look" good. But because of the time we have spent with Him, we know that His motives are never to hurt us but to ultimately equip us for the purpose and plan He has for our life.

Worship/Relationship (our connection with God) has nothing to do with Emotions (our  feelings)....Personality (how we act/respond) or Comfort Zone (familiarity).  

Stop waiting for something to happen and RISE UP AND MEET GOD....BE INTENTIONAL!

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Transformation - The Butterfly

‘Our bodies are buried in brokenness, but they will be raised in glory.

They are buried in weakness, but they will be raised in strength.’

(1 Corinthians 15:43 NLT)

Author Trina Paulus once said –

“How does one become a butterfly?” she asked. “You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.”

"There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it’s going to be a butterfly."

"Everything in your life is there as a vehicle for your transformation. Use it. The struggle you are in today is developing the strength you need for tomorrow. Don’t give up."

The transformational process of the caterpillar into a butterfly has always resonated with me and inspired my life. I hope this also inspires you in your transformation.

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World Mental Illness Awareness Day

I have No Shame about my battle with anxiety (PTSD) and depression but many do.

I know talking about mental illness is uncomfortable. Trust me when I tell you, "it is waaaay more uncomfortable living with it." :D We don't get to pretend it's not there.

Dare to be a little uncomfortable and give those who are fighting any form of mental illness and need help in the battle, a safe place to rest occcasionally.

Is life for me a little different now (ok, a lot different), yes but I have learned many new coping skills, am on medication and have discovered the amazing capabilites of natural/herbal medicine.

I will be sharing more details about my journey with anxiety and depression in the upcoming weeks.

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Turned Up for What?

I would like to start with the disclaimer that I am not up on popular slang and social vernacular...I believe the correct term is "turnt up". :D

God only funds or promotes our mission/purpose. If our plans and desires are not aligned with our purpose, why do we expect God to bless it.  He will not co-sign our mess.

Why do we want more money...why do we want to get married...why do we want to start a business or promotion on our job?

Whose voice is turned up louder than God's in our life?

Are our desires EGO driven or PURPOSE driven?

Our "why" may determine our "when."

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Malnutrition - Are We Starving Our Destiny?

  
"We feed our past at the expense of our destiny.  Are we starving/malnurishing our future because we can't let go of what we have been through?"

Our history/past has a big appetite. We can't afford to feed what happened to us...what we didn't get....what he/she said to us/did to us....what isn't fair, and have enough left to feed our destiny/purpose.  Anger/bitterness/fear/unforgiveness has a fast metabolism....it needs to be fed often.

It is time to start starving our past and feed our purpose.  We need to start nourishing ourselves with more self-love, self-talk, peace, faith, hope, perseverance, positive people, healthy relationships/entertainment/lifestyles.  I don't know about you but I can't afford a personal chef and I am too old for a caregiver.  What we feed off of each day will be what is the strongest in us.




"The Odds Against Wholeness" - Bishop Jakes

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5 Steps To A Better Prayer Life

Nothing encourages us to pray more than trouble! :D

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No Pain No Gain - I have to do what?!?

I often forget that I don't suffer and go through hardship and challenges to make me weak and worthless. I go through to make me strong, wise and useful to God. God didn't allow me to be rejected and abandoned to hurt me. He allowed it to heal my soul from dependency on people's approval and validation.

I learned major life lessons in my struggle...God is able to do more than I could imagine..."God is my refuge and strength in time of trouble"...."God's strength is made perfect in my weakness"...."God's love endures all things"...God taught me to love those who use me (side note: He also made me wise enough to keep them at arms length too)....I learned it is not always about me. I learned to be less concerned about my image and more about what each experience is developing/strengthening in my soul.  I learned I cannot be effective and not be affected (go through something). "Life is like a photograph, we develop from negatives." Whatever we "yield" ourselves to is what we become.

I learned to stop blaming, daddy, mommy, my choices of no good men (no disrespect, if any of you are reading this..there was "no good" in staying in each other's life), my fears, my sickness.  All of it was a part of my training/preparation. "It was good that I was afflicted....My troubles turned out all for the best—they forced me to learn from your textbook." Ps 119:71 

                                          Romans 12:1-2

Why is so easy for us to believe natural principles over spiritual ones...same concepts. When we workout we beleive "no pain no gain" and we will push ourselves until our muscles tremble because we know that's what it takes to get results...we believe "we have to dress for where we are going/success/promotion." But at the same time it is difficult to apply spiritual princles like "faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen"...."we are clothed in His righteousness"....we are asked to "workout (committment/dedication) our salvation with fear and trembling (reverence/respect)."..."His strength is made perfect in our weakness." Why are we not willing to push ourselves to get results/strengthened in our soul? Are we more concerned out our image than who God says we are? What image is being developed in the dark?

We have to be willing to work hard/ endure pain/struggle/press to be strengthened....be willing to give up something to gain more....be willing to "go through" to get through. Our results will be worth it.

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Belief Effects Behavior - Today's Message

Flawed but Favored
King David was not a perfect man. He was a man full of "unresolved issues in his soul."  These issues caused him to be a murderer, adulterer, liar, thief, manipulator, insecure, prideful, abuser of power/position and selfish. I'm not being dramatic. Read your bible.

God loved and esteemed David despite his choices because David knew how to repent and his heart was always seeking God. We may be weak in our mind and in our flesh but we have to be willing to let go of our mess/bad behavior/unhealthy mindsets.

Can We Afford What We Want?
God's grace doesn't give us an excuse to do whatever we want to do.  Repentance means humbling ourselves and changing (one issue at a time), not abusing God's mercy. You will be shocked by how one change can impact three issues.

Our relationship with God is strengthened through the view He has of our heart not our bad behavior. David suffered the consequences of his actions. Look at how his relationships and children suffered/hated him. David had to quit his job and battled through fear and depression. I'm not lying! You better read the bible and stop trying to be religious. But David also gained strength and wisdom and peace in the process. He wrote some of the most beautiful/powerful psalms that thousands of years later are helping/ encouraging us. His life has become a witness for hundreds of generations.

Second Hand Wisdom
I don't know about you but I don't need to go through things myself to learn my lessons. I will take the lessons I see learned by other's choices as enough evidence. I believe what my grandmother told me "if you make your bed hard, you are going to have lay in it.....a hard head makes a soft behind." :D

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Yesterday's Pain (Some of today's too :D)

I am going to be transparent and share with you my worship time with God today.

Bishop Jakes preached, "Ripped for a Reason", Hebrews 10:16-20, and it was as if God was speaking to everything I have gone through and am going through right now, in my life.

I LOVE SPIRITUAL ENCOUNTERS LIKE TODAY!

This was the conversation that took place:

"When we are ripped in areas of our soul that no one can reach, know that it is God.

Lord, I break my alabaster box before you...as long as I continue to fake it, like I have everything together, I will not be effective!

Broken and undeserving...retched and filthy....prideful and disobedient as I am!...I am still here by Your Mercy, God! Thank you God for not giving me what I deserve. HALLELUJAH!

I do not want to live a life of ineffectiveness...you created me for a purpise....just because you have placed gifts/abilities/talent in me....it is not until I am broken (I am in a state of brokeness, right now) that the anointing (your purpose) will flow out of me.

Fellow Christians, we are not like Jesus, we are like our picture of Him. We are more concerned about our image instead of what God put inside of us. If God has anointed us, we have to be RIPPED/BROKEN!

We become wise through our stupidity. Today's wisdom is yesterday's folly. It is how we respond to our imperfection...pain...mistakes...weaknesses that determines how effective/strong/anointed we are..RIPPED/BROKEN FOR A REASON!"

I know my family and friends thought I had lost my mind this morning...I kept sharing and sharing and tweet tweet tweeting for two hours straight. LOL!! They know my battle the last five years with anxiety and depression has been a life changing process.

I don't know about you but when I hear God's voice, it makes me want to run (these days, that's about all that makes me want to run) hahaha! In fact, my son saw how overwhelmed I was during worship this morning that he told me to take a lap around the house, so I wouldn't have an anxiety attack. :D

My life has been ripped/broken in quite a few places. I am sure many of you can make the same confession.  I am grateful for the confirmation that I am "Ripped for a Reason."

I thank you, for once again allowing me to share my spiritual journey with you.



Sunday message: https://youtu.be/lcCCbPEmZjk

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Why Isn't Prayer Working???

I have been dealing with anxiety and PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) for the past five years which has caused me to be hyper aware of my mental and physical state every day. Before my trauma I had what I considered the typical "busy" lifestyle (dual career, church/ministry leadership, single-motherhood, dating, being a source of help for too many....), overloaded and unbalanced. The heavy cherry on top of my life was STRESS!

The source of my stress was having a dual career in industries (real estate and investment) that had gone through a devastating financial crisis as well as demanding responsibilities of ministry leadership in a large church. I soon learned that my leadership responsibilities were expected to take precedence over my personal crisis (pray, trust God and keep it moving became my motto). Who knew being stuck in my car for 10 hours during a snow storm would cause my life to change drastically? :/ Who knew that healing required more than prayer/faith.

As Christians we tend to oversimplify the process of dealing with the challenges of life and our health (mental and physical). I thank God for my mature Christian physician (Theo Stephens) who continues to help me through the mental, physical and spiritual challenges of my healing process. Advice he gave me at the height of my anxiety disorder became valuable advice for me these last five years. He told me not to let "well-meaning saints" cause me to doubt my faith because "prayer and believing God" does not result in quick healing.  He and I have been members of the same church twenty-something years.

I honestly believe people mean well, but in their state of not knowing what to say, they default to common "Christian lingo."  I also learned some valuable lessons... one, "others get over our issues much faster than we do".  The church is a spiritual hospital, and there are many hurting people there...."hurt people hurt people."  I have been able to take the lessons learned through my struggle of healing and minister to those who have been hurt in their healing.  The perspective is very different when you are hurt by those who should be helping and still be able to love them anyway. God's love for us cannot be taught any clearer than that for me. We are asked to love one another as He has loved us.  I know I don't deserve His love so I must learn to love/forgive through the mercy extended to me every day.

I have been asked the question by others who are battling , "what do I do when I have used all of the spiritual advice given to me, prayed/trusted God for years, and I'm still not healed?" I speak to them the words that encourage me when I become discouraged or stuck in a hole, "never lose HOPE, it is the foundation of your faith"....faith is the substance of things HOPED for....

It is that hope along with the words spoken by Paul regarding "his thorn," that began to manifest more relevantly to me along my journey with mental illness.

 ^"Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn’t get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,

My grace is enough; it’s all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become."

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 (The Message)

The anxiety attacks caused by the PTSD has required me to make major lifestyle changes. As a result, I have been living a double life that can be a bit confusing to others at times. My work life is fast paced, full of troubleshooting responsibilities which require that I engage people all day.  Once I get home at the end of my day, I tend to self-isolate in a quiet environment with very little stimulus.

"Soil of the Soul" (this blog and the spiritual growth class I facilitate) has helped to pull me out of my isolation. \O/

I love being able to connect with and help people again. My isolation level adjusts as my stress and responsibility levels change.
                                 

The numbers for those of us suffering from mental illness are staggering. A large number of people suffer in silence because of shame/judgement. It has been a 5 year battle for me but I have discovered many others close to me, hidden in plain sight; family, friends, co-workers, church members...

I am not one of those who prefers to hide. Awareness will help save lives. Depression and suicide occur in unexpected numbers with people of faith, especially ministry leaders. The most common responses I have receved are "just pray about it...trust God for your healing....you have to cast out that spirit, in the name of Jesus!"


No disrespect to the well-meaning saints. :D Anyone who knows me, knows I am not lacking in faith (Lord knows I love Him and believe He can do anything but lie)....my greatest passion is helping others develop their faith.

I say all that to say, if you are close to someone with depression, anxiety disorder....any mental illness, educate yourself.  Speak faith but don't throw Christian lingo at them, don't separate yourself or allow them to isolate themselves. Your silent presence speaks volumes to them.

Before you "mean well", know better.

Healing is a process/journey and there is much wisdom and strength to be gathered along the way for all of us.

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