30 Life Changing Statements that Shape My Life

"Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path"  Psalms 119:105

There are many statements by Christ and revelations in the Word of God that have impacted my life 

but there are 30 that I have "hidden in my heart", study and are shaping who I am. My shaping (transformation) is ongoing and there has been new revelation throughout my life on these scriptures.

Shaping/Transformation:

• clarifies my faith walk
• guides me in the development of my relationship with God and people
• inspires how I view life, adversity, people
• influences how I treat people (forgiveness, love, judgement)
• reveals the "Kingdom of God" and the "Body of Christ"
• drives me towards purpose
• speaks life, hope, strength and peace to my soul

Each of these seeds have been planted in my soul and produced good fruit:

1.      "...Without faith it is impossible to please God...." (Hebrews 11:6)

2.      "Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path" (Psalm 119:105)

3.      "Peace I leave with you...do not let your heart be troubled" (John 14:27)

4.      “No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper….” (Isaiah 54:17)

5.      “Love is patient, love is kind..it is not proud..it does not dishonor others..” (1 Cor 13:4-8)

6.     “My Grace is sufficient for you...my power is made perfect in weakness..." (2 Cor 12:9)

7.     “For all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God..." (Romans 3:23)

8.     “Thy word have I hid in my heart that I might not sin against you" (Psalm 119:11)

9.      "You are the vine, we are the branch, apart from you we can do nothing" (John 15:5)

10. " For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you...give you hope..." (Jer 29:11)

11. "... Seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness...do not worry about tomorrow..." (Matt 6:33)

12.  "The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance.... (Gal 5:22-23)

13.  ".....The testing of your faith produces perseverance..." (James 1:3)

14.  "But we have this treasure in jars of clay...we are pressed on every side but not crushed.... (2 Cor 4:5-8)

15.  "....He does not retain our sin…He delights in mercy...He casts our sin into the sea” (Micah 7:18-19)

16.  "...things work together for good for those who love God...according to His purpose..." (Rom 8:28)

17.  "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not unto your own understanding..." (Prov 3:5-6)

18.  "...Live in harmony...if possible...do not seek revenge...Vengence is Mine..." (Rom 12:15-20)

19.  "The Lord is the strength of my life...In the time of trouble, He shall hide me..." (Psalm 27)

20.  "Submit yourself to God. Resist the devil and he shall flee." (James 4:7)

21.  "Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him" (Job 13:15-16)

22. "I will lift my eyes unto the hills... He will not suffer my foot to be moved..." (Psalm 121)

23.  "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want...He leads me in peace....." (Psalm 23)

24.  "...When my enemies come in like a flood, He will raise a standard against them..." (Isaiah 59:19)

25. " The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord...though he stumbles he will not fall.." (Psalm 37:23-24)

26.  "Be strong in the Lord...put on the whole armor of God...praying always..." (Ephesians 6:10-18)

27.  "You will know them by their fruit..." (Matt 7:16-20)

28.  "You are the salt of the earth...you are the light of the world...let your light shine ..." (Matt 5:13-16)

29.  "You have been saved by... Grace created for a purpose....prepared in advance..." (Ephesians 2:8-10)

30.  "...Forgetting those things that are behind, I press toward the mark..." (Phil 3:13-14)

It never ceases to amaze me how the Word of God has become a part of me (who would have 

thought). It speaks to/leads me daily, season to season, through each challenge and blessing. 

Don’t get me wrong, life can be hard and unnerving. :/  Peace and assurance always seems to 

rise up from what is hidden in my heart. Without fail, one of the 30 scriptures above will 

come to mind and illuminate my path. These gems help me to stay positive and try to see the
best in people but also prompts me to tell it like it is (in love). :)

What illuminates your path?  Take a few minutes of reflection and write down what is hidden 

in your heart.  You do not need to quote it verbatim nor does it need to be all scripture.  Like 

mine above, it could be a combination of several scripture translations/quotes.  I would love 
for you to share what inspires and leads you. 

This was a great way to start my new year.

Happy 2016 to you!!

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Fitting In....Are You Different Too?

I have been compelled today to share more intimately.  I don’t know if anyone else can relate but most of my life I felt like I didn’t fit in….my family….my friends (except for a select few)…..church ministry…..work.  An indescribable feeling of always being the odd one….thinking differently….perceiving differently.  As a young person, I just wanted to fit/belong.  It caused me many emotionally isolated years of loneliness.  Don’t get me wrong, I always had lots of people in my life but few who I thought “got me”.  Relationships have always come easy for me but many times left a void.  I thought I was too needy or insecure. Some of that may have been true and some due to capacity issues…read my post “The Heart Attacks...”  I love deeply and openly….maybe too quickly and too freely. :)  I’m still on that journey of discovery.

SIDE NOTE:  I will apologize in advance and try to stay focused in my sharing....yes, I'm long winded and still developing my writing skills.  ;)  There are many tangents to my life discoveries and I tend to go off in several directions but I promise to try to get back on track quickly from each detour.  Twenty something years of digging deep, produces a lot of “stuff”. :)

I started my journey of self-discovery when I was in my mid-twenties.  It is a long road that I am still traveling.  I wanted to know what was wrong with me…why I felt lost and different all the time. Every place I turned for answers left me feeling more confused, lost and empty.  Many times my focus was finding the right man…oh, I forgot to mention that one of the discoveries on my journey was that I had “daddy abandonment issues”.  This discovery helped a lot in my understanding of emotional fulfillment or the lack thereof.  It also led me to the greatest discovery and relationship of my life….my Father.  Not my natural father. I forgave my natural father many years ago (another part of my journey) for not knowing how to be a part of my life….he had his challenges and did the best he knew how at the time.  The void that was left by him left a huge space for God to fill and fill it He has. :)

I have always had a strong pulling towards spiritual things.  I didn’t know that’s what it was early on, I just knew that the more I tried to fit in to common popular things…..partying, drinking, sexing, unforgiveness, gossiping, bitterness, back biting, self-centeredness, the more sick/stressed I felt.  It felt like I was the one who always felt bad/convicted and everyone else around me seemed just fine with it. :/  Trust me, I’m no saint, I still have my issues but guilt seems to find an easy mark when I am “out of order”.  That conviction has taught me to forgive/say I’m sorry…and mean it… in the midst of conflict, regardless of the other person’s ownership of their actions.  Some conflicts/mess take longer to forgive/straighten out but is a necessary destination for my emotional health.  I am a firm believer that forgiveness is more for the benefit of the giver of it than the recipient.

Back to my first big “find”.  A huge life lesson (definitely not ready to share that yet!), left me literally on my face on my bedroom floor calling to God to help me escape a pain that I thought would rip me in half.  I was 24 years old at the time.  I promised God that I would dedicate my life to Him if He helped me out of my internal agony…..you know how we do.  LOL!!  No one knew or could see the suffering I had been existing in for years, well, other than my constant moodiness. :D  If you looked at my life you would have thought I was happy and fulfilled….good job….good friends….halfway sane family. ;)  But my heart and my head were in secret turmoil….my own personal hell of unfulfillment.  I didn’t fully understand the promise I made God but I meant it with everything in me.  OH BOY WAS I ABOUT TO FIND OUT.

One of the first things I had to learn was to stop running from myself.  I had spent the first half of my life taking care of everyone except me….being what I thought others wanted so that I would fit in.  I didn’t want to face the person in the mirror for fear of hating what I saw.  I had shaped my thinking of myself by what "I thought" others saw…I didn’t believe it was anything good because my father and mother couldn’t seem to love me enough to spend time with me....help me understand/develop ME…..family and friends regularly told me I was “cute for a dark girl”….men thought I was good catch but even that confused me because they either thought I was too nice to run “game” on or too much trouble because I wouldn’t let them run game without questioning their motives (I did have a little dignity when I was younger). ;) 

I later discovered/accepted: (1)my parents were not bad people, they were young and had issues of their own that consumed them….they had no idea how to give me what I needed because they had not figured out how to get what they needed yet.  People can only give what they have. Shout-out: Kudos to my mom who has grown tremendously in purpose the last five years!  (2) the people in my life who saw my beauty only through my darker skin tone were just mimicking what society (Black & White) has taught us is acceptable beauty. (3) the age of a man does not reveal his maturity and understanding of life/relationship/integrity/responsibility.  There were many more lessons but I will stop there regarding the shaping of my identity.

GRAND REVEAL – God had created me and had created me in His image….the smartest thing to do was seek my creator to find out what/who I was by discovering the purpose for my creation.  I had no clue how to start that process but I did realize I had to go back to church for help.  That was not an easy task.  I have been saved since I was a child. I went to church faithfully with my aunt and great grandmother.  My love for church and ministry started early. I remember being on the youth choir and a part of youth ministry.  I felt at peace and in the right place when I was in church but then as a teenager my Pastor was run out of town for sleeping with the women in the church (a life/spiritual lesson for another post) and I walked away to do life on my own.  I decided church was a disappointment and full of corrupt or foolish people.   I knew so much at the mature age of 16/17. LOL!!

After visiting many churches, two of my friends invited me to their church (the same church) and I finally found myself at home again! I attended for a year before I joined but I have been a member of my church since 1992.  God has used my Pastor, Bishop Walter Scott Thomas, Sr. as a major guide in my self-discovery.  I haven’t physically stepped through the doors of my church in at least two years (again, a story for another post) but Bishop Thomas’ ministry/teaching is used in my life every day.  In church, I was taught who God is…. who He created me to be…I learned to look at myself through God's eyes….I discovered my gifts and desire for purpose.  The events of my life the last five years have oddly had me out of church/church ministry (don’t ask me to explain it….I’m still on that path of discovery), after twenty years of immersing my life in serving God through His church.  I have been an eChurch member….SHOCKING to many who know me but not to those who KNOW me.  Other than my life being completely out of balance, I still don’t know why I had to lose my mind to learn the importance of balance in my life. :)  I do know that I found peace and purpose in my journey of healing from what felt like craziness.  

It is amazing what crazy looked like to others.  For some, it looked like me being a teacher for applying God's Word to everyday life…it looked like me starting to blog about my life lessons and spiritual journey.  WHO KNEW people would want me to facilitate their spiritual growth or write about my experiences?  OK, I have heard it most of my life from people but I didn't have the confidence to believe it

God made me a promise twenty years ago and I finally see it slowly unfolding in my life…slow is a good speed for me right now. :)  I love Christ’s church and honestly don’t have a clue what God is doing with me outside of the traditional ministry I have known.   I do know that His ministry has never stopped in my life and He has been using the tragedy that has happened these last five years to draw people to Him in a way I never imagined.  I know I will not make the mistake again of thinking I have any idea of “how” God is going to do “what” He is going to do.  I just know He will.  God gets the Glory!

Those things about myself I took for granted, my interests…. passions…. sensitivities…. challenges, all ended up being customized in me for my destiny.  I know…..I know, it sounds a little odd to some but believe me when I say, it was not until those discoveries that I found a place of peace, fulfillment and direction for my life.  It explained why I never felt like I fit in.  I wasn’t supposed to “fit”.  I started feeling more comfortable with words like “being in this world but not of this world”.  I no longer feel uncomfortable being a little different….I like to call it spice/salt for whatever I find myself in. :)  I know some people like their life “bland” and they will probably have a hard time being connected to me.  I still struggle in the “romantic relationship” area….dont’ know if it is as complicated as “daddy issues” run deep or what my friends would say is as simple as it takes a special man to be connected to/have capacity for me.  I am finally cool with that….I know I can be challenging….always asking you to think/dig deep.  I think I was born with a shovel in my hand…it took me a while to learn how to use it.  That’s just the way God made me.  Take it up with HIM.  Be patient with me, my journey of discovery is still ongoing and if you don’t like what you see right now, stay tuned, I’m sure there will be some surprises down the road.  I hope you stay on for the ride but I know it all boils down to capacity….yours and mine.  I no longer look to “fit in”, it is more about my purpose for being there.

Everyone’s journey is different.  Although there have been many lessons on my journey, one of the most valuable for me is being more self aware and the discipline of looking in the mirror, past my "feelings", before I assess another person's actions/lack thereof. My path  would not have brought me to where I needed to be without a spiritual relationship with God, His Church, my spiritual fathers/mothers, and surrendering myself (constant battle of letting go of pride, fear, control, being accepted by others).  My peace comes from the journey to trusting God’s promises for my life, understanding my purpose and what He has put in me to get to destiny.  I call it a journey because it is lifelong….where I started is not where I am now and I look forward to where it ends because I know there is where I “fit”.

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"Tips on Parenting an Introverted Child"

1. Know that there is nothing unusual or shameful about being an introvert

Introverts are hardly a minority. Numbers vary based on a study, but introverts make up 30-50 percent of the U.S. population. Some of our most successful leaders, entertainers, and entrepreneurs, such as Bill Gates, Emma Watson, Warren Buffett, Courteney Cox, Christina Aguilera, J.K. Rowling, Abraham Lincoln, Mother Teresa, and Mahatma Gandhi, have been introverts.

2. Understand that your child’s temperament is due to biology

Think your child can just “get over” hating raucous birthday parties? Think again. Introverts’ and extroverts’ brains are “wired” differently, according to Dr. Marti Olsen Laney, author of The Hidden Gifts of the Introverted Child. She writes that children’s temperaments are innate (although parents play an important role in nurturing that temperament).

Introverts’ and extroverts’ brains use different neurotransmitter pathways, and introverts and extroverts use different “sides” of their nervous systems (introverts prefer the parasympathetic side, which is the “rest and digest” system as opposed to the sympathetic, which triggers the “fight, flight, or freeze” response). Furthermore, a study published in the Journal of Neuroscience found that introverts have larger, thicker gray matter in their prefrontal cortices, which is the area of the brain associated with abstract thought and decision-making. If your child tends to be more cautious and reserved than her extroverted peers, rest assured that there’s a biological reason for it.

3. Introduce your child to new people and situations slowly

Introverts often feel overwhelmed or anxious in new environments and around new people. If you’re attending a social event, don’t expect your child to jump into the action and chat with other children right away. If possible, arrive early so your child can get comfortable in that space and feel like other people are entering a space she already “owns.”

Another option is to have your child stand back from the action at a comfortable distance—perhaps near you, where she feels safe—and simply watch the event for a few minutes. Quietly observing will help her process things.

If arriving early or observing isn’t possible, discuss the event ahead of time with your child, talking about who will be there, what will likely happen, how she might feel, and what she could say to start a conversation.

If your child is nervous about starting a new school year, visit your child’s classroom, introduce her to her teacher, and find the bathroom, the lunchroom, and her locker before the hustle and bustle of the first day of classes.

No matter what new experience you’re getting him accustomed to, remember: go slowly, but don’t not go. “Don’t let him opt out, but do respect his limits, even when they seem extreme,” writes Susan Cain about introverted children. “Inch together toward the thing he’s wary of.”

4. Remind your child that she can take breaks from socializing if she feels overwhelmed or tired

While extroverts feel energized by socializing, introverts can feel drained. If your child is older, she can excuse herself to a quieter part of the room or a different location such as the bathroom or outside. If she’s younger, she might not notice when she’s tapped out, so you’ll have to watch her for signs of fatigue.

5. Praise your child when she takes a social risk

Let her know you admire what she did. Say something like, “Yesterday, I saw you talking to that new boy. I know that was hard for you, but I’m proud of what you did.”

6. Point out when she ends up enjoying something she was initially afraid of

Say, “You thought you were going to have a miserable time at the birthday party, but you ended up making some new friends.” With positive reinforcement like this, over time, she’ll be more likely to be able to self-regulate her feelings of nervousness and dread.

7. Help your child cultivate her passions

Your child may have intense—and maybe even unique—interests. Give her opportunities to pursue those interests, says Christine Fonseca, author of Quiet Kids: Help Your Introverted Child Succeed in an Extroverted World. Softball and Girl Scouts may work well for some children, but don’t forget to look off the beaten path and consider writing classes or science camps. Intense engagement in an activity can bring happiness, well-being, and confidence (think Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s state of flow), but it also gives your child opportunities to socialize with other children who have similar passions (and perhaps similar temperaments).

8. Talk to your child’s teachers about her introversion

This will help your child’s teachers know how to interpret her behavior. Some teachers mistakenly assume that introverted children don’t speak up much in class because they’re disinterested or not paying attention.

On the contrary, introverted students can be quite attentive in class, but they often prefer to listen and observe rather than actively participate.

Also, if the teacher knows about your child’s introversion, the teacher may be able to gently help her navigate things like interactions with friends, participation in group work, or presenting in class.

9. Teach your child to stand up for herself

Teach her to say stop or no in a loud voice when another child tries to take her toy from her. If she’s being bullied or treated unfairly at school, encourage her to speak up to an adult or the perpetrator. “It starts with teaching introverted children that their voice is important,” Fonseca says.

10. Make sure your child feels “heard”

Listen to your child, and ask questions to draw her out. Many introverts—children and adults—struggle with feeling “heard” by others. Introverts “live internally, and they need someone to draw them out,” writes Dr. Laney in her book. “Without a parent who listens and reflects back to them, like an echo, what they are thinking, they can get lost in their own minds.”

11. Be aware that your child might not ask for help

Introverts tend to internalize problems. Your child might not talk to you about a difficult situation she’s dealing with at school or with a friend although she wishes for and/or could benefit from some adult guidance. Again, ask questions and truly listen—but don’t pry or make your questions feel like an interrogation.

12. Don’t label your child as “shy”

“Shy” is a word that carries a negative connotation. If your introverted child hears the word “shy” enough times, she may start to believe that her discomfort around people is a fixed trait, not a feeling she can learn to control. Furthermore, “shy” focuses on the inhibition she experiences, and it doesn’t help her understand the true source of her quietness—her introverted temperament.

13. Don’t worry if your child only has one or two close friends

Introverts seek depth in relationships, not breadth. They prefer a small circle of friends and usually aren’t interested in being “popular.”

14. Don’t take it personally when your child needs time alone

Anything that pulls your child out of her inner world—like going to school, socializing, or even navigating a new routine—will drain her. Don’t be hurt or think your child doesn’t enjoy being with the family when she spends time alone in her room, perhaps reading a book, playing on the computer, or playing an imagination game. Most likely, once she has recharged, she’ll want to spend time with the family again.

15. Celebrate your child’s temperament

“Don’t just accept your child for who she is; treasure her for who she is,” writes Cain. “Introverted children are often kind, thoughtful, focused, and very interesting company, as long as they’re in settings that work for them.”

Resource: 15 Tips on Parenting an Introvert Child

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Maintaining Your Peace

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The Smoking Gums (Lethal Weapon)

Are you a serial killer, arson, sniper or assassin....are you carrying a concealed deadly weapon?  Harsh question but pause a moment before you answer it.  It may be time to surrender/turn yourself in.

Will you choose life or death?:

"The tongue has the power of life and death and those who love it will eat its fruit" - Proverbs 18:21

The indictment:

• Your words created death and destruction in someone's soul
• Your actions or lack thereof, produced death in someone else

Serial Killer

Look back along the path of your life.  How many bodies are buried along the side of the road? Death means "separation".  How many people in our life have had to separate themselves from us because of the toxic/destructive spirit that is attached to our words?  How much has it cost....family, friends...romantic relationships/spouses....jobs?  Have you been told regularly that your words are harsh/critical/bitter/rough?  Is your common response, "I'm just being honest or telling the truth...I don't sugar coat my words....you're just too sensitive....you don't know how to receive correction or someone telling you the truth....you need some tough love or thicker skin"?  Is it easier for you to criticize than to compliment or encourage?

Arson

Do you get a charge out of confusion and chaos?  Are you consistently in the middle of issues...the spark of gossip or spreading half-truths?  Do you always need to be in the know so that you can "tell it"?  Has anyone ever accused you of being a troublemaker....starting fires/confusion.

Sniper

Are you a master at being quick to cut someone down...tell them about themselves....setting them straight?  Do you have the reputation of being a straight shooter with real bullets....telling the truth without love/laced in bitterness, instead of blanks....telling the truth in love (stuns & enlightens) but does not maim/produce death?  We don't allow our heart close enough to see the damage we have caused.  We stay undercover to protect ourselves.  We walk away leaving our victims internally bleeding out from the gaping hole our words have left in them.  Our children can be the biggest victim to our bullets.

Ninja Assassin

Are you skilled at throwing "shurikens" of manipulation....master at planting seeds of doubt in the mind of others, convincing them they are the problem and not you? Or passive aggressive....very nice but calculating....vengeful....subtly aggressive but deadly in what you say.  People second guess themselves constantly in their association with you.

This is all familiar to me because I used to be the Sniper/Ninja Assassin as well as the body left on the side of the rode by a Serial Killer. I still have occasional flashbacks and am tempted to use my old deadly skills.  Most of us who are gifted in the teaching/speaking category have to be careful because the wrong spirit or motives attached to our words will turn our gifts into a curse.

I was indicted and surrendered to face my trial and sentencing (consequences).  I wanted to enter a plea of  "guilty by reason of insanity" :)  I am grateful to have the best lawyer around (the Holy Spirit) who reminded me that wasn't going to fly with the Judge (God) and the better option would be to repent and ask for the mercy of the court.  I entered a guilty plea (repented) and received a reduced sentence of "time already served".  The truth is we also suffer from our offenses.  Our life becomes full of chaos and misery...the memories of each death will begin to haunt us (whether we realize it or not).  I am glad I have a God who has resurrection power and was able to show me how to restore some of the dead relationships left along my path  The reality is not all were able to be restored.  Mercy may be extended to us if we repent but there are still consequences to our choices.  We have to ask ourselves if speaking our mind is worth the possible consequences....we don't get to control our consequences.


Resource: Life & The Holy Spirit

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The Heart Attacks - Heart Condition

You can be sick and be saved (a Christian).  We can be broken in places that have nothing to do with our spirit. People trying to help fix our heart can sometimes make it worse.  We can't choose people (spouses, friends, business associates) just because they are a Christian.

Capacity of the Heart

We have to be careful who we attach to our hearts.   Does each heart have the capacity to flow together.  Have you ever had a relationship with someone with a big heart?  Their ability to “pour out” their help, kindness, patience, selflessness, consideration, and love seems endless?  If you don’t have the capacity to receive their “pouring out”, it can feel overwhelming/pressure.  It may cause you to feel incompetent or depleted because when a big heart becomes empty and needs help refilling, you may not have the capacity to give it what it needs.  The big heart keeps coming back for more and it creates feelings of not being enough & frustration because of the constant pulling/drawing from you from that person.  The frustration doesn't necessarily mean there is something wrong with either person or there is no love there.  It could mean that both hearts do not have the capacity to flow together.  You may have a 10 gallon heart but be attached to someone who has a heart with a half-gallon capacity. They may look good, sound good, or “fun” good but your connection to them may be leaving a void or drowning you/putting you under pressure.  Pressure built up in our heart causes heart attacks.  Voids leave room for “conflict and chaos” to reside.

Blockages in the Heart

Blockages in our heart can cause heart attacks.  Common blockages are stress/pressure, disappointments, fear, abandonment, abuse, trauma, perceived failures - relationships, career, business, loss - death, divorce, job, home.  The impact of a heart attack on our life can affect our future/legacy/destiny, finances, relationships, careers, creativity, health, ability to influence others, blessings and our vision.  If you have been feeling stuck, check your flow.

Impact of Heart Attacks on our Vision

“None but the pure in heart shall see God" (Matt 5:8)...is the condition of your heart affecting your vision?  We can hurt others and not see it.  We become blind to how our actions/words impact the people connected to us.

You ever wonder how someone could hurt you/do you wrong and act like they don’t care…leave you and move on with life like you never existed?  They are able to do that because of their “heart condition”.  It is the shock from the heart attacks they have suffered.  When we are in shock, we can’t feel anything or see anything….we become numb.  Heart attacks can leave a person too numb to feel your pain or to miss you when you are gone.

Heart Repair

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit in me”….”give me a clean bill of health - Psalms 51:10 – KJV/MSG....”Guard your heart with all diligence, for out of it flows the issues of life” (…for as the heart is either pure or corrupt, so is the whole course of man's life) – Proverbs 4:23

We have become too busy protecting our hearts instead of flushing our heart.  Guarding our hearts does not mean blocking our hearts. Protecting and keeping it healthy require us to keep it open (flowing).  Our cathartic moments with God helps us to open our heart.  Worship acts like a catheter so we can clear our blockages and allow a healthy flow in and out.  . We have to be careful not to allow our arrogance – our reaction when what we had in mind doesn’t happen and idolatry to “what we think”. God doesn’t serve what we want to happen.  We can’t worship God only when He gives us what we want.  We have to trust God for what He has planned/allows in our life and “let it flow”.

Self-Exams

We just came out of Breast Cancer Awareness month.  Women are asked to do regular breast exams throughout the year for early detection of lumps in their breast.  Early detection can save lives.  We all should be doing regular heart exams, checking the condition of our heart.

       Examine how you react:

·         when things don’t turn out as expected….disappointment

·         challenges occur in your relationships….break-ups/divorce

·         the loss of a loved one, job, possessions….death/lay-off/foreclosure

·         under pressure….stress

Early detection can save our families, our future, our finance, our relationships, our life

 (“The robber comes only to steal and to kill and to destroy. I came so they might have life, a great full life” – John 10:10)

Resources:  "My Heart Attacks", Bishop T D Jakes & The Holy Spirit

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The Engaging Introvert - The Daily Balance

My posts thus far have been my spiritual learnings and experiences...seed planting.  Today I felt led to share more of "me" with you. I have avoided doing this for some time but I know that to authentically encourage others, I need to be transparent outside of my safety zone.  Here is my first stab at it.  Pray for a Sista! :)

There is a consistent misconception about me...the assumption I am an extrovert.  I get it.  I remember how shocked I was when I discovered I was an introvert,  Once I thought about it, it explained some areas of confusion I had about myself.  The reaction I get from people when I tell them I am an introvert is quite funny.  Most people assume someone with my big/energized/assertive/outgoing personality traits would be an extrovert, not understanding that it is more about how I re-energize that places me in my introvert box. I DEFINITELY re-energize in quiet!

My day is typically full of engaging dialog.  I love it...it is exciting! I am a student of human nature and love the exploration of understanding who people are and why people are.  This requires quite a bit of personal interaction and conversation. For as long as I can remember, strangers, in a short span of conversation with me, would deep dive into sharing personal feeling and thoughts with me. I never looked at it as a problem because I am not really wired for extended casual conversations...don't get me wrong, I will engage on a casual level where necessary but not for any great length of time.  My natural inclination to want to get to know a person and what makes them tic, prompts me to ask simple questions.  I was taught that you learn by asking questions and then listening to the responses attentively.

Everyone is not comfortable with questions and react differently depending on their area of anx...fear, insecurity, trust, or their own level of introversion.  As stated before, most of the people I meet open up and share themselves with me quickly.  Quickly becoming transparent without obvious reasoning with someone you haven't known long can also be uncomfortable for some.  I have experienced this in several new relationships.  Time and consistent exposure to me helped to dispel those feelings in most but not all. Most who push through their feelings of fear and discomfort realize I can be a loyal (not perfect) friend and that I will guard their deep thing as if they were my own.  I have encountered a few people in my lifetime who felt like I asked questioned because I was secretly collecting info to use against them.  Those relationships didn't last long enough to show them they were mistaken. :/  That makes me sad because of my desire to connect with the people closest to me.  Those in my inner circle get the privilege of seeing me exposed, vulnerable and transparent. But with that comes the responsibility of trust and protection (it is reciprocal).

Due to the nature of my job, problem solving accompanies my constant engagement with people throughout my day.  God's gifts (encouragement, helps, teaching) along with my natural desire to understand people tend to leave me weighted down and empty at the end of the day.  Encouraging people and listening to their challenges is something I can do with ease but there is a process of release and responsibility that comes with it.  Hence, I can't wait to get home and hide from people and noise!  A strong subtle desire overtakes me to run home to peace and quiet to refuel and unload everyone's stuff I have collected.  It is not always easy to do when you have other responsibilities.  Those who do not learn how to unload and refuel will eventually crash and burn as I did in 2010 (another story for a later post).  I was forced to learn to balance my plate after my mind snapped from the long-term extra weight.

For me, the balance of family, parenting, relationships, ministry and personal time requires deliberate focus and time to figure out because if neglected, it can become damaging to me and everything attached to me.

I am blessed to have a son who is also an introvert, although a more traditional manifestation of it.  It took me a little time to discover the rhythm for our relationship but being a fellow introvert helped me to understand with more ease what makes him tic/motivates him/communicates love to him.  We have our best time together on the weekends watching his favorite TV shows or simple talks about life and super heroes. :)  It is natural for us to be able to enjoy each other's slow quiet space at the end of the week without much going on.  It took Dad, who is a traditional extrovert, a little longer to understand his need for simple, quiet, separated space.

Having a romantic relationship with an extrovert can sometimes be challenging.  Unless a balance can be struck between quiet/noise and busy/relaxation,each person runs the risk of feeling overwhelmed and unfulfilled  The busyness of life can also impact each person's ability to maintain balance in the relationship. Something as simple as needing the TV on or off while falling asleep....the need for conversation or an hour of no conversation at the end of a work day will also impact the introvert/extrovert relationship.  In every type of relationship, each person has to be deliberate in their awareness/understanding of the other person and than be willing to do the work to apply that knowledge.

Balancing ministry (spiritual growth of self & others), especially leadership in ministry is truly deserving of a separate post of its own!  It is possible to do too much of the right thing for the right reasons. My motivation, desires and giftings were all pointed in the right direction when I crashed and burned in 2010 but there was no balance.  I was running on all cylinders in every area of my life and I ignored the smoke and loud grinding noises of my brain because I wanted to help people and be used by God.  When the challenges of life hit me and the demands of leadership in a large ministry collided, I had very little space for downtime or quiet. In the christian community, you don't hear many messages on burnout/depression/suicide by ministry leaders, preachers or pastors so I thought I was doing something wrong and there was some deficiency in me.  I would hear constantly, just trust God. Especially since the motto I served under each week in ministry stated that "I would not let the challenges of life effect my service to God's people. I was left feeling abandoned by and a failure at serving God's people, who I loved.  God always has a plan and a purpose for what He allows us to go through. :) You are experiencing purpose with me in this blog.

Even with all of my life lessons born out of my season of rest/quiet (during my "crash"), it is still a tricky balancing act. I have to fight to make sure that in all of my "Soil Work" in this "Garden" and in my everyday engagements that I take time to at the end of each day to refuel/unload in my quiet time. Making sure I leave all of the weights and the problems I collect throughout the day at God's feet and pick up/restock my spiritual tool belt with His peace...His encouragement....His Word of guidance for my life.  I am learning more everyday to guard my peace and quiet time with all diligence.


Resource:  Life & The Holy Spirit

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